Tall Girl Ramblings

So I was driving...

Well I was more texting...

...but I promise I was at a red light.

But ANYway. This guy rolls up next to me, and I'm busy...you know, texting. Ahem.

So, he made the decision...the choice if you will...to honk at me. The car parked next to him at the red light. Because that's what boys do.

And I was all...(but in my car)

And he was all…

And then I was all...

And went back to…

At which point he decided...made the choice if you will...to honk again.

Seriously, no I'm totally serious. He was honking at me like a cholla.

So at which point I took the classy road...

Rolled down my window...

And yelled..."FUCK YOUR HONKING."

...Sorry Mom.

1.) What is the one thing you like most about yourself?
Physically? My hair. Personality? I can act strong even when I'm not.

2.) What is the one thing you regret the most in your life?
HMM. I wouldn't call it a regret, because I would still want to end up exactly here where I am today, but I wish I could have added 5 years between graduating high school and having babies. Emphasis on I am not regretting my babies, just wish I could have done so a few years later.

3.) Do you feel you had a happy childhood?
Very. I was brought up literally believing that there was no reason everyone shouldn't love me and that I could do whatever I wanted if I tried hard enough.

4.) Do you still talk to any of your childhood friends?
Yes, a couple. One friend I still talk to I went to kindergarden and pretty much every subsequent grade with.

5.) How many close friends do you have?
Good one....I'm going to classify "good" as I could call them at any time and tell them anything. In that case, 5.

6.) What are your political views?
Liberal and loving dem that doesn't agree with abortions (don't hate me women of the internet)

7.) Where is your favorite place to go?
Anywhere that's sunny and has water or Atlanta, Georgia.

8.) What do you like to do on weekends and/or in your spare time?
I don't have spare time. Should I answer this hypothetically? Lay out by myself at the pool listening to music, getting massages and working out are the three things I make sure to fit in for myself each week.

9.) What is the funniest joke you have ever told?
Actually, I'm really crappy at jokes. Mostly people are just laughing at me.

10.) In your opinion, what about you makes people wish to get to know you?
I don't know, I don't like these questions. Maybe they are curious why I talk to so many people and seem to have no shame?

11.)If you were to win $10 million, what would you do with all that money?
Buy a house, take care of my debt and everyone else i know and love's debt. donate to education and child abuse prevention, invest the rest.


12.) If you could take me with you to go anywhere, where would we go?
Las Vegas, duh.

13.) Describe yourself in 3 words.
Lover, protective, confident

14.)What is your favorite genre?
emo fiction

15.) Name 2 fears.
Ants and people i love dying

16.) If you could be anyone, who would you be and why?
Britney Spears, please don't make me explain it. I know, it's sick.

17.) On a scale from 1-10 how romantic are you?
0, I really pretty much suck at romance. It makes me uncomfortable which has lead to about 239872349 break ups.

18.) What is the most adventurous thing you have ever done?
bungee jump

19.) What is your idea of a perfect evening?
swimming in the dark, drinking/laughing with friends

20.) What color are MY eyes?
Green? I'm sorry Lou. The devil is in the details.

So, I didn't read any of your questions because I didn't want to get writer's block. Forgive me if their are repeats.

1. What name did you wish you had when you were younger?
2. When was a time that you felt brave?
3. When was a time that you felt nerdy?
4. If someone were to really know the real you, what would they not like?
5. Same question as before, but what would they really like?
6. If you were given $1000, what is the first thing you would do with the money?
7. What was a defining moment in your life?
8. What was the worst haircut ever?
9. How would you spend a Sunday afternoon with the one rule that you couldn't spend it with anyone else.
10. Do you want a big wedding or a small wedding?
11. If you could live anywhere else where would you life?
12. What is your worst ridiculous fear?
13. If forced with the decision of eating rotton decomposed testicles or shooting yourself in the foot, which would you chose? (I don't know, don't ask.)
14. What are you the best at?
15. What do you consider cheating?
16. When you picture your life in 10 years what do you see?
17. What is the first thing you do when you wake up (after you pee of course)?
18. If you could take a class in school right now, what would you sign up for?
19. Tell me someone else's secret (without using names)?
20. What is the worst sexual experience you've ever had?

I love humans. I love most things about us. I love that we love and hate. I love that we create and destroy. I love that we are a family species - we are involved with our babies forever. I love that we laugh and that we cry. I love that we make music and that we make love. I love that we dance. I love that we feel emotions like grief and joy. I love that we worship God, gods, animals, plants, planets, etc. I love that we need that feeling of "there has to be something more than this". I love that we kiss and I even love that we hug. Beautiful, beautiful humans.

That's what I called it anyway. It feels kind of like this...

...but much less fun.

Feb 10th, 2008 I ate my last steak. It tried to kill me. Long story short is they kept trying to serve it to me bloody and I kept politely asking them to cook it longer. On the 4th time (yes 4th), I decided that I would either risk the countless bacterias I may consume by eating bloody meat or risk God knows what they do to my steak if I send it back a FIFTH time. I ate the bloody steak. I involuntarily (and violently) expelled the steak within an hour. That's right, I have never in fact had to poop and throw up at the same time before that day, Feb 10th, 2009. Not that I actually threw up - since everyone knows I don't actually throw up - but that was a close call my friends, a close call.

So throughout the rest of the week I had violent stomach episodes. One which was at Target. A VERY close call. Embarrassing. I was convinced I had ecoli by the time I got home from the restaurant. My Mom tried to assure me that ecoli takes some time to develop. I'm still unconvinced.

So, long story short - right? I stopped eating beef at that moment. My vegan/vegetarian friends at work started throwing sad animal videos at me. They sought opportunity to recruit, it worked. Shortly thereafter I stopped eating pig (they are after all smarter than dogs...) and shortly after THAT, I was shredding chicken and couldn't help put notice it's sternum. The identical body part that I have on my chest. At that point, chicken poultry was out of the question for me as well.

So, my basic dietery [meat] rules are this:

no hamburgers/steak/ground beef whatsoever (i have induldged in hotdogs about 3 times in the last 18 months. it's a weakness when prepared in mac and cheese, yum.)

avoid chicken/turkey but will eat it to be polite or if i'm having a protein craving

I will eat some fish sparingly. I get tired of the fish taste REAL quickly so I go in spurts of no fish either.

To be clear - although I feel bad for this, it's not what made me stop eating meat.





Not even this...although it is saddd.




It's this...


And a little bit of this...they are smarter than dogs!




So I don't like to label myself as "vegetarian" because I don't like to be scolded if I feel like having orange chicken one day. I would say on average I have a serving of poultry once a month or two. I will eat fish usually at least once a month to get my protein in.

Today I had a terrible episode where I mistakenly ate someone elses to-go chinese which was pork (aka PIGS THAT ARE SMARTER THAN DOGS) instead of my chicken. Needlesstosay, it has been over two years since my last pork digestion and.................it's not going well.

It's difficult for me to place when exactly I became so damn busy. It seems to me at least a year ago, maybe two - I had a TV lineup for every night of the week. I stayed up late talking to friends online. I decorated my myspace on a weekly basis. I took new sass pictures of myself to show the world. Yes, I was one freaking carefree individual.

I'm just not sure what happened, where it happened but I would really like to turn back the hands of time....

My responsibilities, in no particular order:

Mother
Wife
Friend
Daughter
Sister I really should be a better a sister...
Perfect Trainer (That's my job, by the way...yes I talk for a living)
Healthy Woman
Student

Just for kicks, lets go through that list again and determine the approximate hours needed to make each a successful role in my life. We'll talk hours per week. Total hours per week is 168.

Mother: While realizing I am indeed a mother ALL the time, I will assume that during daycare and sleeping hours - my direct active responsibilities are minimal. So...74 hours a week. SAD! God, that's sad. Makes me want to quit work to stay home with my children. Moving on.
Wife: Before work I'm worthless in this category and I will be the first to say without my husband I would never make it out of the door every morning. So after work and weekends totals......77 hours/week...because we can stay up late.
Friend: When life is perfect - I try and spend at least 5 hours a week talking (on the phone even) or being with friends.
Daughter: My Mom is designated at least an hour a day of talking...we're close...7 hours. We usually see eachother on the weekend at some point so average is closer to 13 hours.
Sister I really should be a better a sister...
Perfect Trainer (That's my job, by the way...yes I talk for a living): 45 hours a week
Healthy Woman: My goal is to always work out 4 times a week for a minimum of 5 hours total.
Student: With two classes you should allow for three hours of homework per week, per class PLUS actual class time...so...8 hours.

SO! Based on this, I have 168 hours per week to complete 293 hours of responsibility. You know what that means? You cannot possibly be 100% at everything. It's IMpossible, if you will.

Here is how I make sure that everyone gets at least a little somethin from me.

Mother: I try and pick up my kids from daycare at least twice a week so we have Mommy/Baby time (is what we call it) to play and dance before business starts when Daddy gets home (dinner, bath, bedtime, etc.) I also have them all day Sat to myself where I try and find something fun to do together every weekend. Same with Sunday.

Wife: I suck at this. I need to get better. I realize as I write this that I too quickly assume that I can be a good wife later. But I will say that I try and cuddle with my husband at least once a day. I also try and send funny cute text messages throughout the day so he knows I think about his fineeee ass.

Friend: I get most of my friend time through work out time because I rock the buddy system at the gym. My girl Sarah and I are fitness class junkies and I get to count that as friend time. Besides physical fitness, I try and call a friend to catch up every couple days and on great weeks, I actually go out on the weekends. I know, it's exciting.

Daughter: Like I said, I call my Mom (or she calls me and demands to know what's wrong) and usually twice a month we hang out and do something with the kids. Everyone knows that once you have kids you are definitely playing second string to those little shorties in your parent's eyes. That's okay with me.

Sister: I suck at this. I need to do better at this.

Perfect Trainer: I have designated work hours, like most people. This takes no extra effort for prioritization on my behalf. I just go to work, and kick ass.

Healthy Woman: I try to minimally go 1 hr of zumba, 1 hr of pilates and do 1 hr of running/lifting. The zumba and pilates are scheduled for tues/thurs the running I just try and fit in wherever I can.

Student: Ah, this was tough. Thank God it's summer right now. This involved constant thought and focus so that I could remember tests, study and complete homework totally on my own. Which was hard even the first time I tried college. I wish I could say I was way better, but not yet. Stupid math class that I will never talk about again................

My "normal" day involves waking up at 6:30AM to get ready for work. This is where my fabulous husband comes in...he will usually make me breakfast and lunch for the day while I get ready. I try to spend at least 15 minutes sitting and talking to my kids in the morning and will usually be out the door by 8AM.

I get off work around 5:45PM, pick up the kids and hang out/dance/be silly until around 7:00PM when David gets home. On gym nights, David feeds the kids and puts them to bed. On non-gym nights we fight this battle together.

1/2 the time I am so exhausted I am in bed by 9pm (last night it was 8:30p, sheesh...). The other half of the time I try really hard to stay up and talk to my husband.

Just look at that schedule and try and imagine what I do when school is in session. Outrageous.

Writing all this out actually made me exhausted. I'm off work now and going to go pick up my kids. Tonight is Zumbaaaa so you can imagine my night exactly. Lucky you.